How should I trust myself that I deserve someone to be with and not deny that of myself?

i used to think a bit like you. i never thought i could fall in love, and for a while, i thought i was incapable of it. but one day, when i "least expected it" i found it. i know it seems like a cliche, but that's what happened to me. maybe you just really have not found the person that can do this all for you. before i met him, i did not want to ever marry, i thought about living alone because much like you i enjoy my own company. but the moment i saw him, something inside of me changed, and i don't know the words to explain it. he turned my whole world upside down, and i like it that way. he helped me understand things i never thought i would. for example, i never understood that expression, "tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." i thought it was ridiculous because i couldn't understand why someone would ever want to love someone even if they knew they were going to lose them in the end. but now i understand. maybe you just need to open your heart, and feel that somewhere out there, there is someone for you. i know you feel like all you want is just a companion, but you will see that life never turns out that way. everyone wants to love and be loved. good luck. i hope one day you find that special love.